It was only 10 days. Dad died and Mom followed him 10 days later. It's still hard to believe that they're both gone - one a few days before Thanksgiving, the other a few days after.
Mom, I believed, only needed a few days rest and she would be fine. In my heart I knew she wasn't fine for some time. You can lose a parent in more ways than through death. Thinking back, it seems I lost Mom years ago when she started have trouble hearing, then when her memory began to fail. It's hard to sit and talk when one is missing so much of the conversation. Maybe that was more the problem than her memory. She simply didn't hear what was going on around her and she was left in the periphery of all that went on around her. Dad bought her a wonderful appliance to help her with this problem; she threw the hearing aid away, refused to use it. Is it possible that hearing goes on and off like a light? I wonder because sometimes it seemed as though she could hear just fine.
I wasn't with her when she died. I was in PA for Dad's death and funeral, then drove home after Thanksgiving. I thought I would return in a few weeks and find her if not up and around, at least more her old self. But it was not to be. Two days after returning home, the call came to tell me she would not be there in a few weeks; would not be there ever again.
I made the sad trip North once more. I was there to view her earthly remains, to get love and support, and to give the same to my siblings and friends.
Death is always a surprise. I went North to be with Dad knowing he was dying. The death was a shock nonetheless. I returned home not knowing Mom was dying. The death was an unexpected shock.
Life goes on, but I have thought of them everyday. Sometimes I would smile, but only briefly because the memory would fade to the reality of their deaths. You hear that times heals. I wonder how much time it takes?
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